A month ago, I caught my monkey mind chatting negative thoughts about one of my recipe blog post.
"The pictures are not great"
"The lighting in my kitchen is so bad, I wish I had natural lighting coming through"
"You should wait till the day is sunnier and then retake all the photos"
"This blog post is not professional enough"
I was fully aware of my mind chatter and for days it bugged me. The monkey mind came and went, chatting away at the back of my head. It actually stopped me from completing my blog and a week flew by.
However, a few days later, I picked up and noticed another voice in my head. This was a much softer, calmer voice, it said,
"Listen, the situation is that the lighting in the kitchen is not suited for a nice photo shoot, you have to be OK with what you have right now."
The truth is, I have a baby. This is my first baby and I'm constantly learning to cope with him. During the day, I am busy with my baby's schedule. Wake, feed, play, sleep. I have not found time during the day to document my recipe blog post. So the best time for me to capture my recipes is actually when I make dinner, after I put my son down for bed.
I realized that I was chasing perfection. I wanted the perfectly lit kitchen, the perfect plates and the perfectly styled photos, blah blah blah. I was comparing myself to other bloggers whom I admire. I was sabotaging myself, my passion, loving what I do which is to share with others that food is medicine and eating real food and healthy cooking is not difficult- all because of perfection!
I had to go through the process of firstly, being aware of the monkey mind. Secondly, allowing the negative chatter come and go. Then finally (many days later!!!), letting all that shit go and be OK with the result of my recipe post.
Because at the end of the day, who cares if the photos are not perfect? Who cares if the blog is not perfect? Nobody cares except me. I don't need to be so hard on myself, the expectation I felt was self-perpetuated. I don't need to let those unwelcoming thoughts stop me from finishing the blog and putting out my own content.
We have to stop feeling small and unworthy. I have had this negative voice in my head for as long as I remember and only after the last few years, I am beginning to understand and learn to let go of unrealistic expectations. Meditation has helped me to identify and connect with my true voice- the one that is fearless, bold and ready to shine.
Look around us- no trees are alike, no leaves are the same. Yet you don't go around pointing out nature's imperfections. Nature is, simply, as it is- no imperfections, only beauty.
Let's start embracing and celebrating the "imperfections" in our lives.
Have you ever gone through chasing perfection?
Can you relate to this experience?
What did you do to overcome those thoughts?
I would love to hear how you deal with negative thoughts. Comment, share or like this post.